Renaissance

Was talking to Rach the other day and she was saying how writing really helps make her feel better. I really haven't been writing down my thoughts for a long long time; I've also forgotten how to. It's October now and I feel like I've been doing nothing to make my life better or make myself happier. I'm a mess. I really am. I feel like I haven't been wanting to come to terms with it. I guess, we all have to admit our mistakes before we can move on and learn from them.

I'm gonna start to pen down my thoughts again. Like what Rach mentioned, only you can motivate yourself. Reading self help articles can only help so much. Only you know how you feel and only you should decide the road forward.

#1 Love yourself more
I've always placed others before me, always eager to please others and unknowingly, I'm sacrificing my own happiness. Start living and not existing, C. Start living for yourself, do what you love, live the moment and stop thinking so much. Take charge of your life and have fun.

#2 Focus on the right things
You do know what you want in life. But, you are not ready to work hard for it. Come on, admit it. You ARE lazy. Success don't drop from the sky, you need to grab the opportunities and work on them. Always remember what Michelle Obama said.

#3 Go do the things you've been saying for years
Yes and stop procrastinating. Lose weight, take up guitar and drums, go back to Korean class etc. Stop procrastinating and just do it.

#4 Start cooking, again
Cooking always calms me down and recently I've been so tied up that I'm so lazy to cook? Remember how you always get a huge sense of accomplishment when people compliment your cooking? Start cooking again! It's a win win situation for you, C.

#5 Be happy, because you deserve to
You are only sad because you choose to. Live, love, laugh. Laugh out loud, be stupid, be unglam, be whatever you want as long as you are being yourself. Remember that and stop wallowing in self pity. You've been unhappy long enough. So please be happy. Positive Affectivity always works! Always remember what Dr Yeap said in class.


Brand new week starts tmrw, so start living! Make the last quarter of 2015 counts. It's all in your hands :)

2015.

How is it the 5th day of 2015 already?? So I'm turning 24 in 2 months time. I think age doesn't really matter to me anymore. I no longer dread the fact that I'm turning older. Age is just a number, really. Hmm okay maybe not hahaha. I'm getting back aches more frequently, can't stay up late even if I want to and my immune system is not as strong anymore. Sometimes, I can feel my body getting slower hahaha but it's okay. As long as I have a healthy mind and heart, I'm sure I will still be young!

So 2014. What did I do? I stepped into the real world, started working, got hurt, fought back, stood up again. 2014 wasn't as fun as I thought it will be but I definitely learnt a lot. 2015 will definitely be better and I'm also ready to embrace all the challenges. I don't really do the resolution shit anymore (No one follows them anyway). I just hope 2015 will be filled with fun and happiness doing what I'm suppose to and not forgetting to do the things I love.

2015, bring it on.

Is it normal that I feel sad while browsing through old photos and blog posts? I really miss my free afternoons. Work has been pretty great but why do I feel sad? It's like I'm saying goodbye to my previous carefree life. I know I shouldn't be feeling this way but I keep feeling this way? And it has only been a month of working.

I got even more upset after I see my tummy increasing in size :( I'm feeling super sleepy now and I wish I can take a nap. Sigh it's a Friday and I'm suppose to go TGIF but no. I have two back to back meetings tmrw till 4pm on a fucking Saturday.

I kinda lost it. The will to prove myself and do well. I feel lost, I don't know where I fit in. Sigh I'm always like that right. I'm so disappointed in myself. But I can seems to find the motivation and passion that I had when I first started work. Is this normal?

Sigh C. You gotta get up and try and try and try

The first week of work is almost coming to an end. Work's been pretty okay so far. I'm learning new things almost every day and everything seems way more interesting than I thought it will be. Honestly, I've never thought that I will be interested in cranes and the other equipments that my company has. I have a huge ambition and I really wanna know as much as I can. I know it's only been 5 days but I feel like my pace is still kinda slow? Everyone has got their own job to do so there is only so much that they can teach me. I follow my dad around when I'm free and ask him questions along the way. I'm trying to absorb as much as I can. Everyone is still pretty nice so far. We won't know for sure in the long run. I'm gonna stick to my principle- Stick to what you think is right.

Past few days have gotten me thinking, what do I want for the company? I know it's a bit early to start thinking about this since I have not really grasp the company's operations. We all need a direction though. What are my visions for the company? Where do I wanna bring the company to? Lots of these questions in my head. Also, what do I want for myself? Where do I want to be in 5 years time? And do these visions include my company? Will I stay here for long? Idk if I'm overthinking or it's normal.

I'm still kinda proud of myself though. These 5 days, I've put myself in many situations that are way out of my comfort zone but I told myself "Fuck it, just do it." And I think I'm doing pretty well, haha. I do know what my co-workers think about it but I think I do not really care (okay I do abit la).

I used to think I'm a lost kid just a few months back. I don't know what I want, I didn't know what to do. I'm so glad I kinda took the leap of faith and let nature take its own course. I'm now even more sure that in life, we should not be too bothered if we feel lost. It's only natural that we feel lost sometimes. What's important is that, we are ready for what's ahead of us. Be ready to embrace the challenges. This is exactly what I'm feeling now. Being in this position and industry may not be what I've wanted all my life, but I'm well-paid and I'm in good hands. I should be thankful for that isn't it?

Since young, my ambition changes like the fluctuations in the stock market haha. I wanted to be a teacher, lawyer, cashier, singer, designer, cosmetics developer etc..... And here I am, a BDM. Nothing related to what I wanted to be when I was young. That's life isn't it?

I'm looking forward to bringing the company to greater heights. I want my dad to be proud when people compliments me. Idk how am I gonna do it but I will. I have faith in myself. I'm not the smartest and most hardworking person out there but I'm sure with determination and the passion to succeed, I will be able to make it. For the past 23 years, I've done nothing to make my parents proud. I think it's time for me to buck up. For my parents and most importantly, for myself.

I can't be more thankful to my friends and family. They are ALL so supportive and I'm so touched :') Although I hate waking up at 630am in the morning, I don't really mind staying after official work hours. Or maybe it's because I just started work.

I'm writing this down because I have nothing to do for the past 2 hours so I decided that I should write down my feelings so that when I read back in a few month's time, I know how I felt.

To the new me, 힘내라~

WHAT'S UP 2014.

Okay I'm almost 3 months late. Well with all the new micro blogging platforms app, blogging on a laptop seems so 2000 and late. Hahaha I kid. I still love blogging when you are typing on an actual keyboard.

So I must say 2014 has been treating me fairly well (cept for the going to be working soon part). Impromptu trip to HK with Celine where we spent almost 10k sgd in 5 days, climb hills and mountains to find Joyrich, fruitful trip at Chrome Hearts, battling the HK crowd (no joke) and having lots of yummy food *__* Then it was CNY, most boring ever I don't even wanna talk about it. Then I suddenly went into hibernation where I stopped going out and talked to anyone for erm Idk, weeks? I kinda love my hibernation mode actually. It's really rejuvenating for me.

After almost 3 months of doing nothing, I finally felt bored. I never thought I will say this but yes, I was feeling so bored that I think I might go crazy. Part of me kinda can't wait for work to start but another part of me knows that I will definitely regret. So for the work part. What have I been doing? Well, I've attended 2 meetings and 3 dinners, not cool. I just don't feel comfortable in situations like this and I hate that I'm uncomfortable. I wanna be able to hold conversations and socialize. That brings me to the dinner I had today. All I can say that it's a total disaster. Honestly, I wasn't prepared. I rehearsed in my head all the situations that may have happened but still I did not perform up to my standards. Is it normal to regret doing certain things and not doing certain things at such events? Everytime after I attend a dinner, I can't stop thinking about the things I said and the things I should have said. Sigh it matters a lot to me :( I don't want people to think I'm a bimbo, I don't want them to think I don't know anything. I have so much to prove that I feel that sometimes I'm over-stressing myself. It's not healthy isn't it? Setting such high standards for myself. I never liked putting myself in situations I'm not comfortable it. I absolutely detest it. But it seems like it's unavoidable now. My sister ask me how can I stand it? Fact is, I can't stand it. But I just throw myself into such situations. Don't think, just go. Why? I know I will think of how to survive once I'm in the situation. No matter how much I hate it, I'm already in the situation so there's nothing else I can do but to adapt. I'm not sure if this is the right way but I guess it's kinda working for me.

My birthday is coming up and for the first time (or maybe not the first time), I'm not excited anymore. One thing to be happy about is that... I'm not that bothered about my age anymore!! Hurrays hahaha. I hope by the end of the year, I will be able to say turning 23 is one of the best things that happened in my life. And I also hope I will be able to have some achievements that my family and friends will be proud of. Hi Working Life, I'm all ready for you!

Oh and I just got myself some off-days in May. Boss says yes so yays I should be travelling in May *^^* Perks of working for your dad ;)

The day I dread the most is here. Will be taking my last paper in approximately 12 hours. I should really be sleeping but I can't. I can't explain this fear in me. I knew this day was gonna come sooner or later but sigh, I'm still not ready. 

So, this is the end of my education life. Not a student anymore but a working adult (soon). Idk what to feel about this. Fear is all I can feel now, really. :(

I'm looking forward to all the travelling I may do but when March comes, I think I will cry like a baby everyday, whining to everyone how bad my day is and all the sleepless nights... I can foresee them coming. 

Then again, maybe I shouldn't be so pessimistic after all. Working means money and I should really just enjoy this final holiday of mine. 

To a stronger and independent me..

Goodbye Student life. You will be greatly missed. 

I wonder... Done dreaming of how my wedding will be like. I don't even have someone who wants me as their bride. This is very sad :(

"To be a better person and to be happy. Forget your mistakes and look forward to the future." 

Things I told myself repeatedly today. 

Need a runaway plan to a place where no one knows who I am. 

When 140 characters are not enough, blog! 

So proud of our little maknae. She actually admitted she got a nose job (though she said its because she had rhinitis). But hey how many female idols dare to admit that they did something to their face?? 

There are certain fans making a huge hooha. Seriously??? We are living in the fucking 21st century and there are still people creating a huge fuss over plastic surgery? Come on. No one is ever gonna be happy with how they look, no matter how pretty they are. They can still find flaws. Trust me, 99% of the females behave this way. Well if you are one of those 1% who believe in natural beauty and should embrace and love how you look then... Good for you! Don't expect everyone to behave or think the same way. 

I'm definitely okay with people going for plastic surgery. I believe everyone has got the freedom and right to do whatever they want to their own body. We live in a cruel world where beauty/looks are so important. Everyone judge everyone based on looks and yet we're judging people who went under the knife. All I can say is... Fuck you humans. There are people who are hurt, judged, mistreated just because they are not beautiful. People who are perfect, popular, pretty will never understand. 

Okay got all my thoughts out of my head. Now, time to sleep. Waking up in 5 hours time to send my aunt to work. 😔

"Cheryl you need to know your priorities."
"Of cos I know my priorities!!"

I'm sorry 종현이오빠. When TOP is back, no one and anything else matters. LOL

Maybe it's time to take a leap of faith and get out of this little tiny comfort circle of mine. I'm young and I should be more adventurous but I keep letting my fears get in the way.

People are so blinded by brands these days that they do not bother finding out about the history of them. I'm so glad that I'm not one of them.

珍惜. 感激.

说时易，做时难。我们往往对于自己，对于社会，对于身旁的人有一堆要求。忘了感激，忘了感恩，忘了要知足，忘了要珍惜。长大了，智慧增长了，却忘了做人最基本的原则，忘了珍惜人生里最简单，平凡的事。是科技在作怪？还是人的心已经不如从前？我也不晓得。

常常提醒自己要懂得珍惜，懂得知足，但还是逃不过“贪”的手掌心，想要更多。“贪”啊～你可知道你有多恐怖。希望自己再次看到这个post时，会提醒自己要记得珍惜，记得感激。

人生，世事难料。

Shattered, tattered and torned.

I find a lot of people annoying. Now I'm starting to feel that I'm annoying too. I'm weird. How?

I need to start living life to the fullest. I'm in such a mess, really. 

................

Thank you for keeping me sane for the past 3 years BIGBANG.

I've asked this question so many bloody times but I still don't have an answer.

"What am I doing with my life?"

It scares me when I see my friends all doing so well with their lives and here I am... rotting. With bad results, graduating with a degree with no honors, with nothing to my name. It is.... sad.

Maybe my sister is right, I'm just too damn freaking lazy to get anything productive done. Sigh

Directions to Teddy's Twosome+ Studio

I was damn excited when I heard that Teddy's gonna open his own cafe. Though he didn't exactly set up the entire cafe on his own (it's a franchise), Teddy was involved in the decor of the cafe. This has got to be my new favourite place in Hongdae. 2NE1 actually filmed their Do You Love Me MV in the cafe just a few weeks back!

It's actually VERY easy to get to Teddy's Twosome+ Studio. If you're familiar with Hongdae, you will really have no problem finding this place. It's located beside the Hongik University entrance and it's almost impossible to miss. For those who are unfamiliar with Hongdae, here are the directions!


Take the subway to Hongik University Station and get out from Exit 9. Walk straight ahead for about 5minutes and you should see this.


Do not cross the road, just turn left and you should see this.


Continue to walk straight all the way.


You will first pass by H&M, then the Tourist Information Kiosk (they should be on your left). Continue to walk straight.






This is the entrance of Hongik University. Cross the road and turn left and the Twosome+ Studio will be on your right!



Some photos of the interior!







  


It was our first meal of the day so we ordered quite a bit of food. Too hungry!!




We ordered a chocolate croissant-ish thingy (2,000won), Cranberry Chicken Sandwich (6,000won), Raisin Scone (3,900won), Plain Yogurt with Granola (5,500won), Egg Sandwich (2,700won), Iced Caramel Macchiato (5,400won) and Iced Mocha (4,900won). We paid 30,400won in total for two. Kinda pricey but the coffee and scones were sooooo good!

I love love the iced caramel macchiato!! I actually had it twice cos it was soooo good. The scones came with cream cheese and jam, very nice texture. There were a few yogurt to choose from. We tried the plain yogurt with Granola and the plain yogurt with banana and granola. Both were equally yummy! I also had the Chicken Caesar wrap on my second visit and it was damn good as well.


We chose the window seats so we can enjoy the "scenery". Hahaha

We were seated at the 2nd floor, there are 4 floors to Twosome+ Studio.

We obviously can't get to the 4F. Hahaha

The 3F displays Minakwon's illustrations. I love her art. I didn't take photos of all the art pieces displayed, you have to visit there and see them with your own eyes!






On our third visit, we had the Grapefruit Bingsoo. Summer in Seoul is totally unbearable. The sun is totally out to kill.


The bingsoo DAMN FREAKING GOOD. That white lump of goodness there is actually froyo, not whipped cream. Just imagine having shaved ice with froyo, grapefruit and jelly in the hot summer. It was so shiok that we couldn't stop eating it. Whoever thought of the froyo-shaved ice combo is really a genuis. Be sure to try this!

The Beginning of The End

Today marks the start of my final semester in Uni. Fall 2013 is my last semester as a student. Gonna work hard and do my best for this last lap of my education.

I just came back from Seoul a week ago and damn, I miss Seoul so much :( Spent a good 10days in my fave land eating and shopping till Mei and I ran out of baggage space. I didn't get to buy much this time round because I kept helping people get their things :/ I swear I'm not gonna tell people I'm heading to Seoul anymore. Best buy gotta be my Chrome Hearts and Joyrich loots. I LOVE SEOUL!

Hehe I will be sharing directions to Chrome Hearts, Teddy's Twosome Studio+ Cafe and Lomography Cafe as these places are awesome and everyone should visit them!! Kinda lazy to edit the photos but hopefully the posts will be up soon. Celine and I are working on our blog where we write about everything on Seoul. The site's up but we haven't really done anything yet. Hopefully we will have time to start writing on Seoulidarity when she's back (yes Celine's in Seoul now). We can't wait to share with everyone everything we love about this amazing city; our little finds, our favourite places to chill/dine, korean fashion/music... basically everything about Korea!!